Attention Gentlemen,

Are you sick of being rejected by the ladies? Maybe it's not you; maybe you know of a friend who's been going through a rough time. For a LIMITED TIME ONLY* I will be accepting any and all dinner offers to take me to Lobsterfest at Red Lobster. That's right; acceptance GUARANTEED!** Here's how this works: We meet at a mutually convenient Red Lobster location. You buy me my Lobsterfest dinner. In exchange, I will perdy myself up real nice and entertain you with witty & comical banter during the course of the meal. I will also pretend to really like you (and I mean, like you-like you) THE ENTIRE TIME! That's right folks, even if you have zero personality and an IQ that landed you on the special bus as a youngster, you can't go wrong here. Or for funsies, if you've always thought it would be a hilarious good time to go on a date and say all the things that you really want to say on a date; I can roll with that too! I just want my f'n Lobster!

*Offer expires April 25th, 2011 
**Not valid on creepers, stalkers or anyone who is going to try to touch me.

It occurred to me that blogging reviews of Buffalo's many festivals of over-indulgence would provide me with an excellent excuse to gorge myself on some of the best that our region has to offer. Who doesn't know someone who has left the area to text home longing for some local favorite, perhaps begging to be FedEx-ed some Bison Chip Dip or Kummelweck? They always miss the food; not necessarily mom & dad but definitely the "real" pizza & wings.

I attended a seemingly lesser known food festival today, hosted at the Millennium Hotel in Cheektowaga. If you missed it this year, watch for it in 2012. Over 30 local pizzerias competed in 30 different categories at the Buffalo Pizza Bash, and I was there to indulge in what was to be the greatest food orgy of my life. (Shh, I told The Taste of Buffalo the same thing!) Now I’d rather publically admit to the number of sexual partners I’ve had than admit to the exact number of slices that I devoured today. So let’s stick to my pick for top 3 favorites (considering that I am a lady and in no way did I have more than 3).

Chick-N-Pizza Works                       Pierogi Pizza

Grasso’s Pizza                                   Baked Potato Pizza

Mooney’s Sports Bar and Grill       California Crab Roll Pizza

These pies listed above, shall forever be those which I will secretly fantasize about while eating any "Average Joe” slice that I happen to settle for in the future.

Dear Buffalo Pizza Bash,
I ♥ you…and I miss you already.